Homicidal Eggs
by UUBookwitch
Summary: Definitely OOC, KD. What happens when Neal tries to meddle? Not the best title, but couldn't think of anything else! R&R for title and getting virtual cookies!


The sun rose on the horizon, waking Kel from her pleasant dreams concerning a certain blue-eyed sergeant. Grumbling about how Mithros and Ganiel couldn't have at least let her finish the dream, she wiggled out of her bedroll and proceeded to roll it up. Suddenly she stopped – why did she smell bacon? Wary as ever, Kel grabbed her glaive and crawled to the door of the old building she had been sleeping in. When she saw a very familiar horse with an even more familiar back facing her, she scowled. Couldn't Dom at least let her _try_ to last the trip to Neal and Yuki's wedding without him tempting her to spill her secret? Even though she refused to admit it, she was happy to see him. Though not telling him she liked him would be hard, if not impossible…

"Hello Kel! Glad to see you woke up," An annoyingly cheerful – and _awake –_ Dom twisted to look at Kel. How he wished that he could just tell her how much she meant to him! That was why he had tried to find and catch up with her on the way down to Corus.

"Why are you here? And how did you find me?" The love of his life demanded. He winced – he didn't want to tell her why he had come.

"Why am I here? I'm on this road down to my dear cousin Meathead's wedding, as I assume you are too. And I happened to stop here too, and you just happened to be here already," He smiled innocently, and hoped she didn't decide to use that glaive of hers so early in the morning. Turning back around, Dom started to fry some eggs. A hand came into his vision, and he handed Kel some bacon and toast. Plopping down next to him, Kel bit into the sandwich and smiled.

"This is good," she mumbled. She smiled again, remembering a similar scene about a year back. She swallowed, and then turned to Dom. "Do you remember coming to find me when I went searching for the Haven folk?" She asked, curious.

How did she know that that was exactly what he was thinking? Laughing silently at himself, he nodded and replied, "Of course I do! And you were just as mad to see me as today. Which depresses me – it really does." He put on a fake pout and slumped, fishing for laughs. He caught a fish quickly. She burst out laughing.

How she wished she could tell him! But no – that would be bad if it didn't work out. Kel quickly regained her composure, taking another bite of her sandwich.

Dom smiled and focused on the eggs in the pan. Maybe he should tell her…

A little ways away, hiding in the bushes, Neal "twiddled his fingers". He hoped this worked, and that Alanna had given him the right spell.

Kel choked on her sandwich. She tried to cough, to dislodge the chunk, but it seemed glued in place. She kept on trying to get Dom's attention, but he seemed strangely engrossed in the eggs. She ended up falling over, after losing consciousness.

Neal, not wanting to lose his best friend, quickly muttered the counter curse, really hoping that it would work.

Dom looked up from the eggs at a slight thump. Looking over at Kel, he got quite a shock.

"Kel! Oh, gods, Kel, please, please…no, don't be dead…" Dom pleaded with the unconscious Kel. He quickly pulled her up into a sitting position, and proceed to dislodge the bite. Kel, however, remained totally out of the picture. Dom panicked.

"Shoot! What am I supposed to do now? I can't show myself yet…that might ruin the whole plan!" Neal was muttering to himself in the bushes.

"Kel! Oh gods…no, don't be dead…" Kel thought she could hear Dom calling to her. "I'm right here Dom…I don't think I'm dead either, don't worry," She tried to respond. Nothing happened. "Or maybe I am. No, that wouldn't make sense. Why would I be dead from choking? What's the meaning in that death?"

Dom started. She…Kel…she was alive! And breathing! And…talking to him? He leaned down to listen closer. Obviously, she had hit her head. The nonsense she was uttering! The beautiful, perfect nonsense…

Kel came back to earth fully to a pair of lips on her forehead. Understandably puzzled, and insanely hopeful, she opened her eyes. And saw Dom holding her, kissing her forehead. Which was surprising, but extremely wonderful. And 100 proof that she was dead, or at least dreaming. Because Dom would _never_ kiss her. After all, he liked the ladies of the court, not the female knight type. And last time she checked, Kel was _not_ a lady at all.

Neal was tempted to burst out of the bushes and yell something that would get him killed by Dom relatively soon, but he held his tongue. After all, this was better than the comedies put on by the court thespians. This was reality! Plays were never this good. Or this… "Oh no, I'm going to be late to the wedding rehearsal! And so will Kel and Dom!"

So, despite his own best interests of staying alive, Neal jumped out of the bushes.


End file.
